7 Questions Host Families Should Ask an Au-Pair Candidate
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The most important questions to ask an au-pair candidate are about real childcare experience, motivation and how they handle everyday situations — not hobbies or a nicely worded CV. Ask concretely: „Tell me about a time when …“. That way you learn how someone actually thinks and acts, instead of hearing polite standard answers.
In this guide you'll find seven questions to ask in the video interview to work out whether an au-pair fits your family. They're built so that the answers reveal something — about experience, character and realistic expectations. Honestly, and with no sugar-coating.
7 questions for the video interview
Ask these questions openly and give the answers time. Pay less attention to perfect wording and more to whether the answer feels concrete and honest. An au-pair who tells you about real experiences is usually more authentic than one who only says what you want to hear.
Tell me about your experience with children so far — ideally with a concrete example.
Why it matters: „I love children“ is something everyone says. A concrete situation — babysitting, younger siblings, a summer job at a kindergarten — shows real experience. A good answer describes the children's ages, what the task was, and how the au-pair handled it. Vague answers with no example are a warning sign.
Why do you want to become an au-pair — and why in our country in particular?
Why it matters: Motivation decides how an au-pair gets through hard days. A good answer combines honest reasons (learning the language, experiencing a culture, working with children) with a concrete connection to your country. If it's only about „going abroad somehow“ or the money, the expectation rarely matches the reality of an au-pair year.
How would you react if our child has a tantrum or gets sick?
Why it matters: These situational questions show how someone thinks under pressure — not whether they can recite the „right“ answer. A good answer stays calm, names a practical approach (comforting, distracting, telling you straight away if a child is ill) and admits when they'd ask you for help. An honest „I'd ask you about that“ beats overconfidence.
What are your language skills, and what are your learning goals?
Why it matters: Language is crucial in daily life — while playing, giving instructions, in an emergency. An honest self-assessment („my German is beginner level, I want to take a course“) is worth more than exaggerated promises. The video interview itself shows you live how communication works — and whether you're patient with each other.
How do you picture your free time and private life with us?
Why it matters: An au-pair moves into your home — matching expectations about free time prevent conflict. A good answer shows realistic ideas (making friends, taking a language course, using days off) and asks back what your daily life looks like. That way you notice early whether the living situation and the expectations fit together.
Can you and do you want to swim, ride a bike, drive a car, cook simple meals — whatever matters for our daily life?
Why it matters: Practical skills decide whether an au-pair fits into your routine. If you live rurally and need a driver, or the children need taking to swimming, that's no small detail. A good answer is honest about ability and willingness — „I'd love to learn to drive“ is a good start, „I'm afraid of water“ in a household with a pool less so.
What do you expect from us as a family?
Why it matters: Many families never ask this — yet it reveals the most. A good answer names concrete wishes (support settling in, clear arrangements, being included in the family) and shows that the au-pair sees the relationship as two-sided. Someone with no expectations at all often hasn't yet thought about it honestly.
Tip: A single video call is rarely enough. Plan two or three shorter calls instead — by the second one both sides are more relaxed and more honest. And talk openly about your expectations: working hours, duties, days off. Honest expectations up front beat any perfect CV.
How to read the answers
There's no „perfect“ answer — what matters more is whether it sounds honest and concrete. Watch for these signals:
- Concrete over general: real examples beat nice phrases.
- Honest about limits: someone who admits they're still learning is more trustworthy than someone who can do everything.
- Asks questions back: an au-pair who asks in return is engaged and takes the year seriously.
- A consistent gut feeling: tone, patience and warmth in the conversation often say more than any answer.
