What is an Au-pair? The idea behind it — and why it matters
Photo: Anastasia Golubeva / Pexels
In short: An au-pair is a cultural exchange. A young person lives for a limited time with a host family abroad, receives a private room, meals, pocket money and time for a language course — and helps with child care in return. Not a staff member, not a sub‑tenant, but part of the family for the duration of the stay.
This concept is not an invention of the placement industry. It has been part of an international treaty since 1969, and every country has since incorporated it into its own laws. Understanding where the idea comes from also explains why certain rules are the way they are — and how to spot when something is going wrong.
Where the word comes from
“Au pair” is French and means “mutual” or “equal”. The word therefore does not describe a job, but a relationship: both sides give something, both sides receive something, and neither is above the other.
That nuance is the whole point. An Au-pair is not paid like an employee and does not work like an employee — they live with the family. Everything else, from the hourly limit to the language course, follows from this single idea.
The idea is set in black and white — since 1969
On November 24, 1969 the Council of Europe in Strasbourg presented the European Agreement on Au‑pair Employment for signature; it entered into force on May 30, 1971. To this day it remains the only international treaty on this subject.
Its basic idea is remarkably clear: Au‑pairs are neither students nor employees, but a distinct category with characteristics of both. For exactly this reason they are subject to their own rules — and therefore an au‑pair contract is not an employment contract.
| What the 1969 agreement establishes | Rule |
|---|---|
| Man | 17 to 30 years, exceptions upwards upon request |
| Duration | usually up to one year, extendable to a maximum of two in total |
| Contract | in writing, before departure or at the latest within the first week |
| Family's compensation | Accommodation, meals, and time for language courses |
| Free time | at least one full free day per week, including at least one Sunday per month |
| Service period | usually no more than five hours a day |
| Health insurance | must exist; no public coverage applies, the family takes out a private one |
| Pocket money | deliberately not specified — the amount varies by country |
The contract text is public and available in multiple languages: European Agreement on Au-pair Employment (ETS No. 68).
Why does each country still have its own numbers?
An agreement applies only to the states that have ratified it — and today that is only four: Denmark, France, Italy and Spain. Germany signed it in 1976 but never brought it into force; only national law applies here. Luxembourg withdrew again in 2003, Norway in 2024.
In addition, there is an EU directive from 2016 that contains its own au-pair section — but only as an offer to the member states. Nine EU countries have adopted it and created a genuine au-pair residence permit, the others have not. Where a country has no regulation, ordinary labor law applies by default.
In practice this means: there is no Europe-wide au-pair number. Pocket money, weekly hour limit, age and maximum duration are always determined by the law of the destination country — see our overview of destination countries.
That's why we don't cite any Europe-wide figures. Each number is listed on the page of the respective destination country—with the official source and the date we last verified it.
What the industry has made of it
Because the law is incomplete, intermediaries have set their own standards. The International Au Pair Association (IAPA) was founded in 1994 and is based in Munich; in 2006 the European Committee for Au Pair Standards (ECAPS) was added under its umbrella, describing European minimum standards.
These standards go further in some areas than the 1969 agreement:
- Au-pairs are between 18 and 30 years old upon arrival, both men and women.
- Maximum of 30 hours per week — even evening babysitting counts. Time when the au pair is alone with the children also counts as work time.
- At least two weeks of vacation per twelve months, prorated for shorter stays.
- The host family consists of at least two people and provides health, accident, liability and repatriation insurance. It also pays the pocket money when the au pair is ill.
In Germany there is an additional feature: the RAL quality label “Au pair” from the Au pair quality community e.V., whose member agencies are audited by independent auditors. In addition, the Au-pair Society e.V. represents German intermediaries in European bodies.
What an Au-pair is not
- No household assistance. The information sheet from the Federal Employment Agency describes the tasks as limited participation in ongoing family duties — childcare and light housework. Light housework is therefore included, but the focus remains on the children. Care for the sick and elderly is explicitly excluded.
- Not a substitute for daycare or school. The hourly limit is insufficient for that, and it is a limit, not a suggestion.
- Not a cheap employee. Those who only calculate will be disappointed — and risk trouble with the authorities in the end.
This also includes the uncomfortable side: when the idea is no longer supported, the program disappears. Norway abolished it in 2024, because Au-pairs were too often used as cheap household help. In Ireland and the United Kingdom, Au-pairs are considered employees with entitlement to the minimum wage. The difference lies not in the word, but in how a family lives it.
What that means for you
As an Au-pair: You can expect to have your own room, take part in family life, have your days off and time for your language course. If the hours gradually increase or tasks are added that have nothing to do with the children, that’s not bad luck—it contradicts the basis of your contract. Bring it up early, preferably before it becomes entrenched. What belongs in the contract is outlined in our guide to the Au-pair contract.
As a host family: You do not receive on‑demand childcare, but a young person who lives with you. That initially costs time—explaining, training, listening. Families where it works well almost always report the same thing: they have treated the Au-pair from day one as a temporary family member, not as a solution to a childcare problem.