Sick as an Au-Pair: How to Tell the Host Family (with Template)
Photo: Darina Belonogova / Pexels
If you’re ill, tell your host family as early as possible—ideally before the start of your shift, briefly and clearly: how you feel, what you can manage today and what you can’t. Then rest without feeling guilty.
Getting sick abroad is doubly uncomfortable: a foreign language, a foreign health system, and the feeling of letting the family down. Yet a sick day is completely normal. The important thing isn’t that you never fall ill, but that everyone knows in time what’s happening.
Step by step: What you do on a sick day
Your routine when you wake up sick in the morning
1. Notify immediately
Write or tell your host family as soon as you realize it isn’t working — not only after the children are already waiting for you. The sooner the parents know, the easier it will be for them to find a solution for the day.
2. Clearly state what works and what doesn’t
"I'm not feeling well" is not very helpful. Better: "I have a fever and can't take the children to school today. In the afternoon I'll see how I'm feeling." This way the family can plan.
3. Leave the children's care to the parents
Parents arrange anyone who steps in for the children. You don’t have to look for a replacement or drag yourself through the day half‑ill.
4. Rest — really
Stay in bed, drink enough, and eat something light. One day of real rest usually gets you back faster than three days at half strength.
5. Give a brief update
Check in again in the evening or the next morning: better, same, worse? If you go to the doctor, tell the family beforehand.
The message: a template for customization
Just when the language is not yet settled, a ready-made text helps. You can use it as is or adapt it:
"Good morning! Unfortunately I'm not feeling well — I've had fever and a sore throat since last night. I can't look after the children today. I'm staying in bed and will get back to you this afternoon. If it doesn't get better, I'd like to see a doctor. Could you tell me which clinic you recommend?"
The message contains everything important: what you have, what that means for the day, when you'll get back in touch and what help you need. An apology is nice, but not necessary. Being sick is not misconduct.
Are you messaging your family about AuPairMatch? Incoming chat messages are automatically translated into the reader’s language. That way, even if your German is a bit rough, your sick note will still be understood correctly.
Doctor visit and insurance
If you’re worried or notice something isn’t right, see a doctor—better early than late. You don’t need a specific reason. If it doesn’t improve after a day or two, definitely get checked. Ask the host family for a nearby practice—they know the local procedures. In a real emergency, dial 112 anywhere in the EU.
For the doctor’s appointment bring the insurance card or proof of your coverage that you received from the host family or insurer. Keep invoices, prescriptions and receipts; some insurers reimburse costs only retroactively.
Who pays the insurance depends on the country. In Germany, according to the Federal Employment Agency’s information sheet, the host family covers the au‑pair’s health, accident and liability insurance. In the countries where the European au‑pair agreement applies (Denmark, France, Italy, Spain), Article 10 provides for health insurance; where no public coverage applies, the family arranges private insurance. Details are explained in our guide to au‑pair insurance.
What applies in case of illness—allowance, when a medical certificate is required, how long you may be absent—belongs in your contract. Read the clause together and, if in doubt, ask the appropriate authority in your host country. This article does not replace legal advice.
Contagious? Then keep your distance from the children.
When you have a stomach bug, flu, or a strong infection, keeping distance is the best help for everyone. No cuddling, no reading aloud in the children’s room, use your own towel, wash your hands frequently. If possible, eat in your own room. Tell the family honestly what you have so they can watch for early signs in the children.
Even the soul can be sick
Illness is not just fever. Exhaustion, sleep problems, constant sadness, or feeling overwhelmed are just as serious. Often it stems from overload: too many hours, too little free time, and few contacts outside the family. An Au-Pair is a guest in the family, not a household helper. If your tasks gradually expand unnoticed, read what is customary regarding working hours and days off, and bring it up calmly. If homesickness is weighing on you, our tips against homesickness can help. And if you feel unwell for weeks, seek medical assistance. This is not a failure.
For host families: How to support your au pair
Your Au-Pair is far from home, often sick for the first time without their own parents. A short “rest up, we’ve got this” and the address of a doctor's office mean more than you think. Don’t pressure your Au-Pair to return to work early, and don’t ask if it’s “really that bad.” Someone who works while ill will eventually pass it on to the children.
The simplest solution is to decide in advance who will step in in case of illness: a parent working from home, grandparents, neighbors. Our Emergency Plan for Au-Pair and Parents helps with the coordination.
Checklist: Discuss this before anyone gets sick
- How and by when will the au pair report illness?
- Who looks after the children if the au pair is unavailable?
- Which doctor's office is nearby, and where is the insurance card located?
- Which emergency numbers are displayed visibly in the apartment?
- What does the contract say about illness, pocket money, and medical certificates?
- How do you handle contagious infections in the household?