Homesickness as an au pair: 10 tips that really help
Photo: Anna Vatochkina / Pexels
Homesickness is part of almost every au pair stay – and this is completely normal. You are in a foreign country, far away from family and friends, in a new culture with a language that you may not yet master perfectly. That can be overwhelming.
The good news is that homesickness is passing. And there are tried-and-true strategies to help you navigate the difficult first few weeks.
1. Allow yourself to be sad
Homesickness isn’t a weakness. It shows you care about people. Allow yourself to feel sad—but set a limit. Be sad for 15 minutes, then get up and do something.
2. Establish a Routine
A solid daily routine gives you stability. Wake up at the same time, schedule set periods for work, leisure, and language lessons. Routine creates security in a new environment.
3. Learn the language actively
The better you speak the language, the more comfortable you feel. Learn 5 new words every day. Speak with your host family as much as possible in the local language.
4. Find other au pairs
Language courses, au pair meet‑ups, Facebook groups, local gatherings — other au pairs know exactly how you feel. Those friendships are priceless.
5. Explore Your Surroundings
Take walks, visit cafés, discover your favorite grocery store. The more familiar your surroundings become, the more they feel like home.
6. Limit social media use
Instagram and TikTok show you what your friends are doing at home—and that can intensify homesickness. Limit your screen time and live in the moment.
7. Bring a piece of home with you
Photos, favorite snacks, a familiar scent — small things from home can bring huge comfort. Put family photos in your room.
8. Talk to your host family
Good host families understand that homesickness is normal. Tell them how you feel. An open conversation often helps more than you think.
9. Set goals
Plan outings, events, or milestones: the next language certificate, a trip, a cooking meetup with other au pairs. Goals give you something to look forward to.
10. Give yourself time — it gets better
Most au pairs say: after 4–6 weeks it gets a lot better. The first phase is the toughest. Hang in there – the adventure is worth it.
"The first two weeks I cried every night. After a month I didn't want to leave. My au pair year was the best year of my life." — Maria S., au pair from Brazil
Remember: homesickness shows you’re brave. You’ve left your comfort zone and are growing. Each day gets a little easier, and the experiences you gather are priceless.
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