Hosting an Au-Pair: The Guide for Host Families
Photo: Israel Torres / Pexels
Hosting an au pair means: A young person from abroad lives with your family for several months as a family member, looks after your children to a limited extent, and gets to know your language and culture. You provide a room, meals, pocket money, and a connection.
This guide is for families who are considering it for the first time. It answers the big questions – does it suit us, what do we need to provide, how does it work, what does it cost – and leads you to the detailed articles if you want to dive deeper.
What an Au-Pair Is – and What It Isn’t
“Au pair” comes from French and means “mutual exchange”. That is exactly the core: a cultural exchange. The au pair brings their language, stories, and curiosity, helps you with childcare, and receives a temporary home, pocket money, and the chance to get to know a new country from the inside.
An au pair is therefore not a domestic helper and not a substitute for a nanny or a daycare. The hours are limited, free time is protected, and a language course is an integral part of the arrangement. If you are looking for full‑time care for a baby or someone to clean, cook, and shop, an au pair will not make you happy – and the au pair will not be happy with you either.
There is no Europe‑wide uniform framework. Each country decides for itself whether and how it allows au pairs. Consequently, hours, pocket money, and insurance vary significantly from country to country – more on that below.
In Germany, the Federal Employment Agency includes “light household tasks related to the children” alongside childcare—such as preparing the children’s breakfast or tidying the children’s room. The household of the entire family is not included.
Is an au-pair a good fit for your family?
Honest answers to these questions will save you a lot of stress later:
- Do you have a private room? An Au-Pair needs a personal retreat, not a sofa bed in the living room.
- Is the number of hours sufficient? Calculate your care needs per week and compare them with your country’s maximum. An Au-Pair complements daycare, school, and you—it does not replace them.
- Do you want someone to be part of family life? Shared meals, outings, conversations at the kitchen table: this is the part that makes the exchange meaningful.
- Do you have time for the beginning? The first weeks require onboarding, patience, and many explanations.
- Are you open to another culture? Different eating habits, a different sense of humor, sometimes homesickness—it's all part of it.
If you answer “yes” to most of these points, the chances are good that an Au-Pair will enrich your family.
What you offer as a host family
- A private room with bed, wardrobe, desk, lighting and Wi‑Fi.
- Meals: The Au‑Pair eats with you and helps with daily meals like a family member.
- Pocket money each month – the amount is set by the respective country (see table).
- Support for language courses: Time for the course and, depending on the country, also money. In Germany the family contributes €70 per month to the course fees.
- Insurance: Who pays for it varies by country.
- Leisure and vacation: Fixed days off per week and paid vacation. In Germany this is 1.5 days off per week and 20 vacation days.
- Integration: You include the Au‑Pair in your daily life, help them settle in and are available if something goes wrong.
Details on the obligations in Germany can be found in our checklist for host families in Germany.
From the decision to arrival
Clarify needs and scope
What hours do you need, starting when and for how long? Which language should be spoken? Does the au-pair need a driver's license? Check your country's regulations before you start searching.
Create family profile
Honestly describe your daily life: children and their ages, location, room, working hours, days off, and pocket money. Photos of the au-pair room are very helpful.
Search and message
On a self‑search platform like AuPairMatch, you look for candidates yourself and contact au-pairs directly. Agencies handle pre‑selection and paperwork for a fee. Many families use multiple approaches simultaneously.
Meet via video
At least one thorough conversation, preferably also with the children. Ask specific questions about experience, expectations, and daily life.
Document the contract in writing
Hours, duties, days off, pocket money, language course, insurance, and termination. In Germany there is an official template contract for this.
Entry and Documentation
EU citizens usually only need to register. Au-pairs from outside the EU need a visa or a permit depending on the country – this often takes weeks, so start early.
Prepare for arrival
Set up the room, write a weekly schedule, find a language course, obtain keys and a travel ticket, write down important phone numbers.
For getting to know each other we have a list of questions that host families should ask au‑pair candidates. And for the time after arrival there is the checklist for the first four weeks.
The rules vary from country to country
How many hours an au pair may work, how much pocket money they receive, and who pays the insurance is decided by each country individually. The table shows five countries with official au pair programs, each based on official sources (as of September 2026).
| Country | Hours per week (max.) | Pocket money per month | Insurance |
|---|---|---|---|
| Germany | 30 (up to 6 per day) | at least €280 | the host family pays |
| France | 25 | at least €320 | statutory social insurance |
| Netherlands | 30 (up to 8 per day) | up to €340 | does the au-pair pay |
| Austria | 16.5 | at least €551.10 | statutory social insurance |
| Belgium | 20 (maximum 4 per day) | at least €450 | the host family pays |
Attention Netherlands: The €340 is a maximum amount, not a minimum. More pocket money is not provided there – clarify details with the Dutch immigration authority IND.
All destination countries with age, language course, contract and visa can be found in our Country overview. There you will also find Italy and Spain, where there is no dedicated program and the pocket money is agreed between the family and the Au-Pair.
How much does an au pair cost?
Pocket money is only part of the calculation. Depending on the country, insurance, language course fees, transportation tickets, meals, slightly higher household consumption, and possibly placement fees if you use an agency also need to be considered. Our article What an Au-Pair Year Really Costs gives you an honest overview of an entire year.
When it comes to insurance, a close look is worthwhile, because in Germany and Belgium the host family pays. What you should arrange is explained in Au-Pair Insurance: What Host Families Need.
AuPairMatch is free for host families and au-pairs during the startup phase. You create a profile, view the match score to see who fits you, chat with automatic translation, and get to know each other after the match via video meetings in the app. We are not an agency and do not verify IDs – the meeting is up to you.